We all walk around wearing a mask on. Not the medical masks, but a figurative mask. We act how we want to be perceived or how we wish we could be. You act one way in your privacy and then as soon as you walk out that door it’s a whole new person. We all want to come off as put together as possible. Be the most confident or responsible person in the room. When in reality, we are dealing with the demons in our minds. The demons that we call insecurities. Sourcing from our low self-esteem and the low confidence that we have.
Watch this motivational video: Personal success coach Ellard Thomas will help fuel your self-confidence and boost your self-esteem:
We are all human and we all have emotions. Those emotions are valid. Success is what we want to achieve, but how do you expect to when you beat yourself down. When you won’t even give yourself a chance. Or even tell yourself that you’re doing a good job. Having such low levels of self-esteem and confidence can hinder you in more ways than one. It can latch on to your dreams and aspirations until there is nothing left. Or you can overcome these struggles and soon become the best version of yourself. In this post we will discuss the factors and the tips to help push past this barrier in your life.
Table of Contents
What is Confidence?
By definition, Confidence is: -a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities.
Confidence can b e conveyed either in actions or emotions. We demonstrate it almost every day. When we go grocery shopping and we buy something, that’s you having confidence in your decision for groceries.
Or when you go to a new restaurant just because they have good reviews. That’s you having confidence in the restaurant. Although, when it comes to us personally confidence is something that just seems harder to convey. Some of us have it easier to gain confidence or try to be confident. We are just born with that trait. The other of us, sit here and have the struggle every day to try and be okay with yourself.
“But why is confidence so important?”
Confidence is like having freedom from your own self. More so, the negative part of yourself. The person that whispers dark thoughts and doubts into your ear. We all know that voice. For some of us, the voice is louder and louder every single day. By having greater confidence, it is less common for you to take greater risks. As well as being able to go out of your comfort zone.
Benefits to self-confidence
· Influencing others
· Exuding a more positive attitude
· Reducing negative thoughts
· Being happier
· Gaining energy
· Gaining motivation to take action.
· Being sexier
· Feeling valued
· Having leadership & Executive presence
· Openness to try new things.
· Better performance
· Better resilience
· Improved relationships
What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem is basically your opinion of yourself. It’s how you perceive yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically, etc. When you look in the mirror what thoughts come to your head about yourself. If you’re reading this then that means the thoughts are mainly negative. They aren’t as uplifting as you’d like them to be.
Characteristics of Self-Esteem
· Is extremely critical of themselves.
· Downplays or ignores their positive qualities.
· Judges themselves to be inferior of others.
· Doesn’t believe a person who compliments them.
· Uses negative words to describe themselves.
· Self-talks to themselves negatively
When it gets so bad, low self-esteem can reduce your quality of life. It can begin to cause relationship problems. Having a low self-esteem can also have your resilience go down. Thy could find it hard to cope with a challenging life event because they believe themselves to be hopeless. A lack of self-care can come from this as well. The less you care about yourself on the inside, the more it’ll show on the outside.
Now that you know the signs of low self-esteem and confidence, you might be wondering how you can fix it. The pros outweigh the cons. Well, I hope it does.
How to build self-esteem & confidence
Achieving the lifestyle you desire requires you to build up your self-esteem and self-confidence. These following tips will help you in your quest to being more confident in every area of your life.
· Don’t compare yourself to others.
o Remember this: comparison is the thief of happiness!
· Acknowledge the positive
o Give yourself the credit that you deserve. You’d be surprised to see how much more accomplishments you have than failure/mistakes.
· Tell yourself positive affirmations!
o There are many positive affirmations you can search up. Find one or five and repeat them to yourself every day.
· Be assertive.
o To get what you want, you gotta stand your ground. Find your worth and know it. Be that brave, strong person that you always have been and will be.
· Learn to stop worrying.
o Worrying will only bring on more stress. Not everything is in your control.
· Talk positively to yourself.
o It’s easier to want to speak the negatives. You fail a test and the first thing you think is how dumb you are. Or that you are a failure. Instead take back the negative, twist it, and make it positive. Instead of saying that you’re a failure, just acknowledge that maybe you need to work harder.
20 Self-Confidence Quotes to Build You Up!
One of the ways most people build up their self-confidence is to memorize quotes. The following a some of the most inspirational self-esteem and self-confidence building quotes that many successful people use.
"The story for greatness requires you as the star." - Ellard L. Thomas
"Confidence is knowing you belong when other people feel otherwise." - Ellard Thomas
"To love yourself right now, just as you are, is to give yourself a chance at really living." - L. T.
"Successful people have fear, successful people have doubts, and successful people have worries. They just don't let these feelings stop them." - T. Harv Eker.
"You can have anything you want if you're willing to give up the belief you can't have it."
- Dr. Robert Anthony
"If God meant for you to fail, he wouldn't have given you LIFE!" - Ellard Thomas
"Become a priority on your own to-do list, and you'll finally find the delighted path to happiness."
- Ellard Thomas
"It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves!" - Sir Edmund Hillary
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy." - Dale Carnegie
"I dreamt of myself, years into the future, asking 'why didn't you try'. I then awoke and got busy."
- Ellard Thomas
"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence."
- Hellen Keller
"Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained."
- Marie Curie
"I desired victory more than I feared failing. It's through this concept I've achieved everything I pursued." - Ellard Thomas
"After you've cried, wipe away your tears, and get back at it!" - K. D. Thomas
"When people tell you to stay in your own lane, create a freeway. And then say, "I own them all!"
- Ellard Thomas
"No one can alter the way you feel and see yourself unless you give them permission. Take back your power and know how great you truly are!" - Ellard Thomas
"Nobody holds a good opinion of a man who holds a low opinion of himself." - Anthony Trollope
"You've criticized yourself long enough, and that hasn't worked. Try appreciating yourself and see how far that gets you!" - Ellard Thomas
"People's uninspiring opinions are nothing more than proof they have no value in your life. They have already plateaued and your ascent is just beginning." - Ellard Thomas
The best thing you can do now to help yourself, is to practice the tips above every day. Now, I’ll be honest with you. Some days will be harder than others. You will want to just wallow. To just let the darkness swallow, you are whole. Erase all the good, hard work you did for yourself. It’ll be the easiest thing to take that road. But the easy road isn’t always the best one.
You are a unique individual. There’s no other person with your face, with your history, with your genetics. It’s just you. That alone is something to be confident about. Wallow if you want, but then realize your worth. Once you have, get up, look in the mirror, and just uplift yourself. Because at the end of the day even if someone gave you hundreds of compliments. If you can’t believe it from yourself then how do you expect to believe it from others.
Ellard Thomas is a personal success coach, internationally-selling author and the founder of Power and Success Ministries. If you're looking for ongoing motivational messages, visit us today. Also, if you're struggling in other areas of your life, we urge you to check out the hit book Defeating Goliath (Rate 4.5/5 stars on Amazon).